Wayward Women: Portraits of Women in Retail
Earlier this year I was trying to figure out next steps for my life since I was unsure of what career moves to take, I needed social interaction, and I was feeling out of place. It took a chance interaction with an old boss to receive an opportunity and decide what I wanted to do next: I wanted to go back to working retail for her in the local mall.
Coming back to the store was a challenge to my pride. I had last worked there as a sales associate making minimum wage while working on a bachelor’s degree, but now here I stood before this same manager with a master’s degree and a sense of uncertainty of whether I could perform the job of a part-time manager well. During the pandemic I had lost my sense of self-confidence in my management and training skills, and here I stood, wondering if I should just revert back to the same position I had had years before.
Retail is peculiarly comprised primarily of women, especially in the home goods business. Most who become store managers are married, but they are independent in their own rights. Despite being unable to provide their help a living wage, these women fight for their workers, yearning for them to work towards larger goals than they themselves could offer while also listening. They learn about the home life of these women, what they’re running towards, and in some cases, what they’re running from.
My manager, Patricia*, is a soul who always searches for the good in people. A steady rock in the business, she’s been with the company for the last ten years working in assistant management and later senior management of the store. Shorter than me by more than a head’s length, she runs the store with jovial interest in the customers, but also with a practicality.
Patricia’s doors constantly revolve with workers — some who come back regularly, others who just come by for a season or two — but she remains constant with the company. If her workers are spokes and bands to the wheel she herself is the hub, welcoming wayward women to her store as a safe haven from the world’s harsh realities.
Her assistant manager, Molly, is a dog lover at heart. Always quiet, she would laugh at my jokes, but kept to her work. Any new display received finishing touches by her--she had an eye for perfection and constantly would be found stocking shelves, straightening product just so, and keeping things in order. It always amazed me how dedicated she was to the work, despite the company giving less-than-amiable wages to everyone. To supplement her income she told me she cares for dogs and other pets.
Molly always reminded me of a cat--she wanted camaraderie from co-workers on her terms, so there were times she would keep mostly to herself. Despite this, she had a soft spot for her regular customers, especially an old biker who always wore jean shorts, a tee shirt, and fingerless riding gloves.
As I began working again, I discovered I wasn’t alone in soul searching. The oldest of us, a gracefully-aged Madonna named Rose, had been in retail for a majority of her life. Rose was a petite woman in her 70’s with just the right mix of class and spunk. Rose had been married three times, been spoiled by a man who doted upon her daily as though she had been a queen, and even so, still knew how to work hard. She told me of how she decorated this man’s entire home, and had the front porch looking just right that it caught an artist’s eye, while he would walk into a store and request that she have one of every dress on the rack.
For the majority of her career, she had worked as a trainer in the beauty sales industry, teaching sales associates how to apply the perfect amount of beauty creams, concealers, and eye shadows to customers and themselves for the perfect magazine look. Since her last husband’s passing, she switched jobs to work retail here and there, and found her way to Patricia’s storefront, simply searching for something to do. She walks three miles daily and does yoga, even after retail shifts where she’s constantly on her feet, and keeps a healthy lifestyle that I hope to have when I’m her age. Even with the variety of lifestyles that she’s had, she wishes she had gone to college when she’d had the chance after her second husband had passed. She told me, “If you want to go to school, you better do it now, or you might end up like me.”
Rose continued to cheer me on as we worked. With each job application I wrote and submitted, she would give a bright “’atta girl!” with a beaming smile.
The youngest was a bright-eyed, tall and thin young woman just preparing for her college years. After finding that schools would be virtual because of the pandemic, she had decided to take up retail. She was always quiet, offering a quiet “hello” to customers but not fully expanding on the conversation. With time though, I found her confidence grow. As I worked with her, I showed her tips and tricks in product and knowledge. “I always learn something new when I’m with you", she commented one day after I showed her how to feel for the rougher ink on the $20 bills.
As I worked on with Patricia and the others, I met new faces. One sweet woman came to work because she was escaping the realities of loneliness caused by a sudden divorce. She would use this as time away while she waited for her teaching job to bloom again once Fall came. She would receive texts from her attorney sometimes while we worked, worrying her about the coming days of the divorce process. During quieter hours we would talk about life and finding long lasting love. She wished me the best in my own relationship and though she wanted me to succeed in my endeavors, she wished I could stay just a little while longer.
Another was a silver-haired lady who began working alongside the rest of us to get away from a nagging husband who wanted her constantly home with him. Marian was jittery and anxious at first, wanting to do the best job she could, but having a knack for standing a little too close to me in her efforts to succeed. “I just want to make sure I do it right,” she’d tell me. With time as her confidence grew, she started sharing with me glimpses of her own life. Her eyes sparkled when she talked about her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, she spoke of the joy she has working with other women at her church, and she spoke of how much she loved working with us at Patricia’s.
The newest hire I met was Winnie, a young nursing student working shifts at a local hospital while working in the mall at both her mother’s store and Patricia’s for extra income. Winnie was always bright-spirited, eager to learn about how others were doing, sharing Tik-Tok videos with co-workers, and working with her made the hours go by so much faster.
After many job applications and a few interviews for teaching in the fall semester, my retail gig was at a close. I wrote to each of my co-workers in small letters wishing them the best and promising to stop by the store here and there when I had time. When the relationship I had been in fell through, these women were the first to comfort me and offer advice and solace from their own experiences. They continue their work, one sale at a time, and I continue to visit as I can. They continue to detail their own portraits, using their work to paint themselves new beginnings, new experiences, and new dreams.
*Names have been changed for privacy.